Funny Day

It all started without coffee creamer. That’s how every bad day starts. But come on, right?

So I get off my butt and go for a hike with KP today. She and Lily-puppy took me to a new part of Park City that was beautiful. And we saw a small herd of elk, the one thing I hadn’t seen up close around here yet. So far so good.

Then we head out to lunch at the Bridge, at the base of Town lift. I’d never eaten there, most likely because it is at the base of Town lift. YUM! It’s actually a Brazilian inspired, fancy and features a reasonably priced menu for downtown and on the ski hill. We discuss our many blessings (KP has a BUN in the OVEN), and we laugh over my car seat electrical issue like the little thing it is. And how I was mad about being without creamer. Silly!

After our delicious appetizer, I sunk my teeth in to my half of a chicken sandwich. Literally. The sandwich ripped out a tooth. Ow. One of my veneers, now five years old, decided to jump ship.

I don’t have a dentist here.

I start frantically making calls (and chewing on the far right of my face) and am able to find a place that will see me and give me a before-I-try-to-travel verdict.

Miracle! The dentist is able to take the whole veneer and reattach it to my face…IN SPITE OF BEING AN AGGIE!

I didn’t even wait. It took no time.

And they had TVs on the ceiling.

I am reasonably sure the ladies in the office were divine, the Dentist is my HERO, and I’ll be singing his praises all the way to and in Austin when I flash my non redneck smile.

Even if he does use his diploma to park in handicapped spaces.

So- moral of the story is don’t take the good stuff for granted, but also don’t think something eventually won’t go wrong. It does. Just have a good laugh, even if it is one with your hand over your mouth.

The Point

Of course the very first thing Momm asked last night is why I was bothering to waste words on this topic. I told her it happened, I think and feel things about it, and it’s cathartic to have this space to get out those feelings and thoughts. I mentioned it to MK, and he agreed with Momm. Apparently he wants me to blog about current events and real issues. But wait! I assured them both this was current and an issue.

My point for telling the story was so that you could help me out. The thing is, I am friends with quite a few people. And I’m in the middle of making a whole new set of friends, in my new home. I want to be the best person I can and put my best foot forward. I feel like right now I can’t do that unless I clean up my past. I remain in touch with so many people. I go to places they all are often. I meet up with them. I might even try to avoid them, only to run in to them since they are all friends with other friends. I embrace my past and love my friends, but I honestly do a kind of crappy job keeping in touch sometimes. It’s hard to call if you haven’t got something new and interesting, and you’re worried about old stuff being brought up.

Point is, the last 100,000 times that I’ve seen anyone that knows the story I told you, they bring it up. “Have you heard from DH?” “What ever happened to DH?” and if you follow my Twitter (you must, it’s on the right of this page over there) you know that it’s been four years. Four years and, what, six or seven addresses later? As if I’m going to ever ask anyone or look around or hear about her. I don’t want to. This is me moving on.

But these friends of mine, and I do believe they are good friends, always bring it up. I feel like asking them how they felt when their dog died or their neighbor got cancer. It’s just not appropriate. So blog buddies, how do I get over this? I thought maybe sharing the story with you might help me get over it. And it did. It’s something that happened to me though, it doesn’t just go away. So how do I ever convince these people to help me make it go away? I don’t want crap like this on my mind as I go out in the world meeting new people. It creates unwarranted misgivings. I want to get this old stuff off my mind, and open it to new people without worrying theyd hurt me in any similar way.

And Then…

So there we were. Me in full wedding mode, her offering to help and then letting me down, calling hangovers “allergy attacks” like I didn’t know better. Everything was happening so fast, and I was going to be married. I sent out shower invites. My mom came in. The day of, Mom and I got our hair and makeup done, and still no word from DH, person in charge of everything for the party. Snippy, correct me and remind me what I leave out – it’s hard to remember what you try to forget!

I am not good at parties. And it was mine, but I cared more about everyone else enjoying it. And still no word. Snippy saved the day as we mad dashed to Costco and the store you buy party crap at. Champagne, cake, and napkins later, we set up my aunt’s beautiful house. I was blocking it out then and I’m blocking it out now, so I don’t even remember what her story was. Just that she showed up like a guest, saw that we did it all without her, called it good, and lead the games. Games I was supposed to be thrilled over. But I just sat there. Deep breathing. Trying to enjoy how hideous I made the last minute plain white cake with nothing on it look with a big old frosting wedding date. Ew.

How could a friend do that? It’s not like leaving you hanging. That happens to everyone. It’s more like ruining a memory of a day that is supposed to be dear to your entire life. But I won’t let her win. She might have been there trying, but my real friends and family were there champagne toasting, sharing stories, giving me well wishes, taking silly pictures, and being SO NICE to my MIL ;). That’s all wins for me. It was a gorgeous day. I won’t forget what it was about and how loved I felt by everyone else in the house.

But I was spent. I was spinning. You kinda don’t get to do that and then think you’re still in the wedding (which of course she totally did). And she apologized. And she cried. And I got stuck at my house with an impromptu after party with people I’m 99% sure don’t read this, but just in case I can’t say what I really want to, other than she mislead all of them even more.

Without Snippy the wedding might not have happened. I was just so over it. She rescued me in the way only someone who knows pain and knows life must go on, even if it meant throwing me over a shoulder and carrying me through the ceremony. KD stepped up big time. SB never even complained when I called crying and said I needed her no matter what. Her hubby (boyfriend at the time) didn’t complain as he listened to me whine to her the whole night before the wedding. KD let me be angry. Snippy put together a wedding. I got hives, or something. Ugh.

I tried not to feel sorry for DH. Turns out she was just jealous. She wanted a man. Or something. I even pitied her way too much. This post was about her. A year after the wedding she still wasn’t on track. She became the first person I permanently tried to cut out of my life, for good.

A Good Place To Start

There are dozens of stories I could share here about my life in college and me finding who I was, but the more I think about it, the more universal that experience is, it wasn’t just my journey. Most people go through it. So even though it was finding jobs and friends and MK and crazy trips and heartache and some insane drama I know not many people have experienced, that stuff can wait for another day. Remind me to tell you the one about the bi polar roommate…

To be really hard-hitting, I know where I want to start. Snippy brought it to my attention in the comments of that last post, calling it the day I became family to her – I can’t even address that whole comment other than to say it heped immensely with everything I’ve been trying to figure out (P.S. Really, you should be reading her blog too, in case you forgot that I reminded you to!)

Once upon a time in Austin, I went out with some really good friends of mine, and a group of their friends I’d never met. There were maybe ten of us. I met this one chick as she burned a hole with a lit cigarette right through the new shirt I’d gotten to go out (warning sign?). It is still one night of fun that stands out in my memory. We quickly bonded with this group of fun high-spirited people and spend a good summer in each other’s company. When the ring leader moved away, she and I remained in touch. She was in college, working, had beyond wealthy parents, and an appetite for working as hard as she played.

It was really my first real girl friend after my first(ASH) and best(SB) friend and roommate moved away, which had such a tough impact on me I thought I’d never survive. Since SB had pretty much been my everything up until then, I foolishly put my everything into DH (for the sake of me trying to be vague and getting annoyed let’s name her “DH”, like, dummyhead!). Everything was fine until she lost her job. Then dropped out of school. Since no one I’d known had ever done that, I had her back. I helped her. I set her up with friends. I almost alienated my dear BIL over her. Things spiraled out of control for her while things went better and better for me. I was graduating, meeting new people, getting promotion after promotion. Getting engaged! Getting a new job! Getting a promotion!

We fell in and out of touch after she moved back in with her parents. Her friends were my friends, always asking “What happened to DH?” Sometimes I knew, sometimes I didn’t. I didn’t see any pattern, just a troubled life. So when she came back into mine, with a job, a new start, I didn’t question it. I always try to build others up.

I invited her to go to the networking events I found and loved. When my job was beyond torture, I could get with people who reminded me why I loved it, why I was good at it, why I wanted to do the right thing. Unfortunately, I became associated with someone who drank, smoked, partied, and went home with others and was gossiped about. I used to feel like I could only blame myself, but the nights I stayed out past my bedtime, away from my fiance, and showed up to work so much worse for the wear, I now see as nights I let myself be persuaded. That is my fault, but DH shares more of the blame than I realized at the time. And I know now it was because she wanted to hurt me, to bring me down. She’d talk me against my friends, my fiance, being a good employee.

It was strange but fine when she announced that she “had to” be my maid of honor for my wedding. I was a sucky wedding planner, knew the trip would be expensive for SB (she had been carefully carving out her own amazing life) and to this day ASH – I really thought you had been in 87 weddings and would like a chance to just sit and enjoy one IN YOUR OWN CLOTHES :). So sure, whatever. I asked KD to be in my wedding party too, and was done. Well, I went to flower places BY MYSELF, arranged music BY MYSELF, and finally got the girls together to pick food, after I found a church and hotel BY MYSELF. There really aren’t that many fond memories of my wedding planning – it was me, on the computer on my lunch break at work, researching until I was so sick of it I just picked something.

Well, that was more backstory than I thought I’d need. To be continued…

No Matter What

So help me, we are going to have fun on this Vegas trip. The 12 of us that are for sure are going to go out, see sights, eat food, have fun.

I’m assuming if I just continue to repeat this mantra over and over, it will happen. HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE FUN IF YOU’RE WITH ME? RIGHT??

Wanna do yoga at 5am? In a dress and sneakers? On the way BACK from the club? Done.

Wanna sleep until noon, lounge by the pool, eat 7 meals in 7 hours? Done!

If I’m the girl that won’t say no, will make it fun no matter what IT is, then you should be just as determined as me to make the best of anything. You’re my family, you must have a little bit of that in you!

I talked to my cousin and got excited. She’s really looking forward to her first trip to Vegas. And she said, with us, it’ll be fun. Awww. What she doesn’t know is I was about to just show up. Now I’m back in the trying to plan the best trip ever saddle.

As a reminder, if you’ve ever been to Vegas with someone that doesn’t drink, or gamble, or sightsee, let me know what you did…

Momm! Brother! Here!

FYI – even after those caps, there are many, many more.

MY Momm’s coming! AND my brother! To visit. UTAH.

Unfortunately, half the house is still up to the sills in snow. And it might snow AGAIN. And CH will be all, “It’s sunny in San Diego” and I’ll be all “Dude, YOU’RE WELCOME, I TOLD YOU TO MOVE THERE. BUT STOP TELLING ME HOW AWESOME IT IS, I KNOW”, and Momm’ll be all “KIDS!”

So that should be FUN.

MK prolly needs a drink. I better get on that.

But anyway. So, we’re all growed up. And that’s been on my mind a lot lately. If I pretended my Momm didn’t read my blog, I’d tell you all these thoughts I’ve been having about that. But since she does, I’ll just give her a taste:

I can’t wait to ask Momm some questions. Like, really. Not “Hey, how are you?” but like “DO YOU LIKE US?!?!?!”

No one has three kids and expects them all to be hilarious, right?

With TB on the verge of NUMBER TWO all I can think about is, what if they are so opposite they don’t get along? What if we don’t like him? SB has the bar set pretty high, what if he JUMPS OVER IT? What if he HATES ME? I’ll stop, since those aren’t my kids, but you get my point right?

Kids are weird. We haven’t been around each other and Momm a lot. It will be interesting. One third of the H’s reuniting. In my silly ski town. I hope they do that thing where they think, “not for me, but whatever floats your boat, wherein boat = SKIS OVER FRESH POWDER”.


So Far Behind

The Catch 22 about having this place to tell you about everything that is going on is that when too much is going on, I can’t get here. No matter how hard I try. We’ve done a ton of stuff to the house I want to show you – even though I’ve already reached the point where I’m totally over it.

I had a birthday and company, that was fun! Then, in a surprising turn of events (maybe since she knew the house was going to be done before we invited her) MIL showed up on the doorstep less than 10 hours after our company left. In the middle of the biggest snowstorm I’ve ever seen with my own eyes. The first floor of the house is buried.

So between entertaining others – and myself (I wasn’t going to miss Sundance festivities this weekend) I am totally burnt out. And with all this epic snow, there’s no time for that. So we’re off to go ski, and if I don’t fall asleep immediately afterwards, I’ll catch you up on some stories. Thanks for hanging in there. If I can do it…