And Then…

So there we were. Me in full wedding mode, her offering to help and then letting me down, calling hangovers “allergy attacks” like I didn’t know better. Everything was happening so fast, and I was going to be married. I sent out shower invites. My mom came in. The day of, Mom and I got our hair and makeup done, and still no word from DH, person in charge of everything for the party. Snippy, correct me and remind me what I leave out – it’s hard to remember what you try to forget!

I am not good at parties. And it was mine, but I cared more about everyone else enjoying it. And still no word. Snippy saved the day as we mad dashed to Costco and the store you buy party crap at. Champagne, cake, and napkins later, we set up my aunt’s beautiful house. I was blocking it out then and I’m blocking it out now, so I don’t even remember what her story was. Just that she showed up like a guest, saw that we did it all without her, called it good, and lead the games. Games I was supposed to be thrilled over. But I just sat there. Deep breathing. Trying to enjoy how hideous I made the last minute plain white cake with nothing on it look with a big old frosting wedding date. Ew.

How could a friend do that? It’s not like leaving you hanging. That happens to everyone. It’s more like ruining a memory of a day that is supposed to be dear to your entire life. But I won’t let her win. She might have been there trying, but my real friends and family were there champagne toasting, sharing stories, giving me well wishes, taking silly pictures, and being SO NICE to my MIL ;). That’s all wins for me. It was a gorgeous day. I won’t forget what it was about and how loved I felt by everyone else in the house.

But I was spent. I was spinning. You kinda don’t get to do that and then think you’re still in the wedding (which of course she totally did). And she apologized. And she cried. And I got stuck at my house with an impromptu after party with people I’m 99% sure don’t read this, but just in case I can’t say what I really want to, other than she mislead all of them even more.

Without Snippy the wedding might not have happened. I was just so over it. She rescued me in the way only someone who knows pain and knows life must go on, even if it meant throwing me over a shoulder and carrying me through the ceremony. KD stepped up big time. SB never even complained when I called crying and said I needed her no matter what. Her hubby (boyfriend at the time) didn’t complain as he listened to me whine to her the whole night before the wedding. KD let me be angry. Snippy put together a wedding. I got hives, or something. Ugh.

I tried not to feel sorry for DH. Turns out she was just jealous. She wanted a man. Or something. I even pitied her way too much. This post was about her. A year after the wedding she still wasn’t on track. She became the first person I permanently tried to cut out of my life, for good.


2 thoughts on “And Then…

  1. Whoa, talk about being transported back to that day. I remember being in the car, your mom in the front seat, and you getting off the phone and trying so hard to hold it together, but losing it as soon as you started to talk. I remember you explaining what was happening, and just being completely floored that someone would sabotage a day that meant so much. I clearly remember not knowing what to say and just desperately wanting to fix it because seriously, WTF, but not knowing you well enough to know whether or not you’d be offended or relieved if I stuck my nose in it.

    I kicked into survival mode at that point and was hellbent on making sure your wedding was happy. I wasn’t just hoping it would go well, I was making damned sure it went well, and anyone who dared cause another problem was getting cut.

    To this day, I still haven’t heard the whole story behind her actions. I’ve heard plenty of gossip, but I was so new at the time that I never knew what to make of it, so I kinda just ignored the whole mess and pretended like she never existed. 🙂

    I hope writing all of this gives you some peace. I suspect you’ve held onto bits of the pain all this time. Maybe this will help you let it go.

    And, truth be told. . . I think your bachelorette party would have sucked balls (possibly literally) if she had been there. So, good riddance.

  2. It was a beautiful shower and an even more beautiful wedding. I know you were hurting so much, but you never let it show publicly. You are way stronger than you think!

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