Category Archives: Comedy

Snow Memes

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Just a few of my favorites while I’ve got snow on the brain. Storm Brutus showed up this morning and it hasn’t stopped snowing yet! Good news for resorts that are planning to open in the coming weeks.

                                  

         

 

             

                          

    

    

                

You have any other good ones?

Aziz Ansari Kayaking Commercial

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What is it about this that cracks me up every single time?

Maybe it’s how the store has a very REI look. Maybe it’s the disdain of the store employee…felt that glare before? Because you are not an expert already? The fact that that’s how I’d look kayaking?

Probably all those things and more. Great ad.

The Manning Brady Reality

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Everyone’s worried about Peyton Manning. It is very serious. But before he was ever having season threatening surgeries, it was my duty as a Patriots fan to dislike him.

As a girl, it was my duty to complain every time I saw him in a commercial. There are a million.

So while some people were rearranging their Fantasy football teams and reading up to the minute reports, I was thinking about the real issues. Like now that he’s side lined, can we please get the much more handsome, much more intriguing TOM BRADY up in my TV in some commercials?!?!

Because this is what matters. To me. And women every where thinking that as soon as he tires of super models, he is going to come calling on the door of some unemployed about to be middle aged house wife football fan and sweep me her off my her feet.

And this is what we get:

Does it speak for itself or do we need to go into the idea that men already think what with the hair and all that he is a fairy? Now he’s spokesman for the shoes that teenagers wear on the beach even if it’s 80 degrees outside. Oh boy.

Alamo Drafthouse Goes Viral

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You don’t have to be an Alamo Drafthouse loving former Austinite such as myself to have seen this video.

It started for me on facebook, with a few friends posting  the link. Then came the likes, the comments, the re-sharing.

Whether you think it’s real or not, funny or not, there’s one thing you can’t deny: it’s viral.

I got a link from someecards.

Anderson Cooper mentioned it.

People I know that have never been to Austin are begging for Alamo Drafthouse to open near them.

Right now, the video is close to 100,000 on youtube, which I’ve seen isn’t a perfect representation of hits, meaning it’s even more popular than that.

What an awesome use of social media to capture an audience and get people talking (just don’t do it during a movie). 🙂

What do you think? Love it? Or pure cheese?

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey (via Write In Color)

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What a little prayer! Even without kids I can appreciate the humor (and truth), not to mention continue my love affair with all things Tiny Fey. Brilliant in spite of the horrible SNL last Saturday. Is it too late to be her when I grow up?

A Mother's Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey”

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

(That my friends, is what you call good writing. Click on the link and pick up Tina Fey’s book Bossypants for more.)

via Write In Color

Funny Day

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It all started without coffee creamer. That’s how every bad day starts. But come on, right?

So I get off my butt and go for a hike with KP today. She and Lily-puppy took me to a new part of Park City that was beautiful. And we saw a small herd of elk, the one thing I hadn’t seen up close around here yet. So far so good.

Then we head out to lunch at the Bridge, at the base of Town lift. I’d never eaten there, most likely because it is at the base of Town lift. YUM! It’s actually a Brazilian inspired, fancy and features a reasonably priced menu for downtown and on the ski hill. We discuss our many blessings (KP has a BUN in the OVEN), and we laugh over my car seat electrical issue like the little thing it is. And how I was mad about being without creamer. Silly!

After our delicious appetizer, I sunk my teeth in to my half of a chicken sandwich. Literally. The sandwich ripped out a tooth. Ow. One of my veneers, now five years old, decided to jump ship.

I don’t have a dentist here.

I start frantically making calls (and chewing on the far right of my face) and am able to find a place that will see me and give me a before-I-try-to-travel verdict.

Miracle! The dentist is able to take the whole veneer and reattach it to my face…IN SPITE OF BEING AN AGGIE!

I didn’t even wait. It took no time.

And they had TVs on the ceiling.

I am reasonably sure the ladies in the office were divine, the Dentist is my HERO, and I’ll be singing his praises all the way to and in Austin when I flash my non redneck smile.

Even if he does use his diploma to park in handicapped spaces.

So- moral of the story is don’t take the good stuff for granted, but also don’t think something eventually won’t go wrong. It does. Just have a good laugh, even if it is one with your hand over your mouth.

❤

Oh, You’ll Like This

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Mike Birbiglia had a funny little list going yesterday on Twitter:
RT @DanAhlgren: “By the way” means my next thought is not even close to related to the matter being discussed.
RT @ComicKevinJones: “Do you remember that time” means i’m lying, cover for me.
RT @MandyHarmon: “I had the weirdest dream about u last night” means –we had dream sex and it was awful.
RT @BigHowie79: “That’s why I always say” is always followed by something they never say.
RT @girl_noir: “Oh, you’ll like this” means it will be related to the only thing you know about me.
RT @8bit_mike: “I love all your retweets” means I’m unfollowing you.
RT @mayan_pilot: “That’s so funny” is like saying, “I found that mediocre, but I’m gonna tell you something funnier.”
RT @LegitFunk: “That reminds me” means I wasn’t listening and was just waiting for you to shut up so I could talk.
RT @UndertheMtn: If someone starts with “Clearly,” it’s never clear at all.
RT @HoytWilhelmIII: “Just the other day…” means sometime last summer.
RT @toohipguitars: “Say what you will about (name)” means that person sucks at everything except whatever finishes that sentence.
RT @Brohakel: “You know I’m good for it” usually means you already owe me fifty bucks.
RT @joebodolai: “quick story…” is never quick and usually not a story.
RT @BetterOffRob: “He’s so nice” usually means he’s bad at something.
RT @word_craft: “Think about this:” usually means you won’t have to.
RT @barrettbo: “I don’t mean to be a dick, but….” is usually followed by something only a dick would say.
RT @da_buckster: “I read that..” almost always means they saw it on TV.
RT @DrAwesomeBFD: “No offense, but…” is usually followed by something pretty offensive.
RT @joebodolai: “You won’t believe this” makes me have no trouble believing it.
RT @BigBryC: In turn, “this is hilarious” guarantees I won’t laugh.
When people say the phrase “it’s not funny,” it’s usually pretty funny.