Making Neighbors Fans

Fans fits better than ‘friends’…

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Five Easiest Ways to Get in Good With The Condo Owners While Throwing A Party:

  1. Compliment their grandchildren.
  2. Share the food.
  3. Share the sweet tea vodka and lemonade.
  4. Shoosh your friends at least once for show.
  5. Share the rest of the sweet tea vodka and lemonade.

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Wedding Bells And Jailbirds

There were a lot of really hilarious things that happened during the week of my wedding. I was a nut, my MIL was a nut, my BFF had SHEARS in her purse to deal with the nuttiness. My husband helped decorate the reception. My mom had the first drink of booze I’ve ever seen her take – and would kill me if I told you all how THAT ended.

But there’s another story that I forget way too easily until this week, when it was RB’s birthday and we were catching up. I decided to be nice and not make fun of him on his Facebook, but really wanted to tell this story: I think here is safe.

We invited everyone that was visiting from out of town to come to our rehearsal dinner, family or friends, to be able to spend more time with everyone. Pretty much only family and wedding party was there. RB showed up late, had some wine, and toasted us after the family thought the toasts were over. It was, of course, hilarious. He’s our Jack Black – full of funny – good times guy.

After our dinner, we went out to 6th street. RB was catching up with some buddies and we bar hopped and ended up at Casino El Camino, if I remember correctly. So many people were so excited to see him he had shot after shot poured down his throat. MK and I headed home for our big next few days and the friends stayed out. KD offered RB a couch so we figured he was fine.

The next day was all about wedding things and I gave no thought to anything but the tasks at hand. There was so much going on so fast and it was all a blur until about 9pm or so after dinner and some dancing and some drinks, and we were talking to RD – who realized RB was no where to be found. “He’s probably in jail,” we laughed. “He had a lot to drink.”

No one thought he’d miss the wedding, but the night went on and he didn’t show. The day or two after that, we found out he did, indeed, go to jail. And missed his flight home. And couldn’t call any of us, didn’t know our numbers, had to call his Dad, and had to deal with so many reprecussions I almost felt bad for getting married.

You might think jail is a seroiusly unfunny matter, but every time I remember that I forgot that this even happened, I crack up. It’s terrible, I know.

Repeated Disappointment

The reason I asked about the face issue was totally that we were going glasses shopping. And we went. And MK still only looks good in bland wire frames. I was hoping we’d discover some new daring style he could take on. I still look totally lame in glasses period. Or, PERIOD.

We both have awful sleep schedules and stay out too late for our own good. We both agree if we could just be comfy wearing our glasses out it would solve half of the bailing early we do. My eyes get sensitive if I’m out in the sun all day, which we usually are. Solution: glasses in public. Problem: what we look like in glasses.

Every four years or so this lame cycle repeats itself (this started when I was 9 or so, people) where I go hoping to find something decent only to be reminded my face looks retarded with glasses. Not only that, but any frame that might look nice will suck once you put my coke-bottle lenses in.

just not hot

just not hot

The lady today suggested that the rectangular frames that look halfway decent on my face were the problem because somehow they make the lenses fit by making them fatter. So I need glasses that are kinda round or at least go up on the bottom corners. There goes any hope I had of looking stylish. But hey, maybe I won’t look geeky?
cool but not allowed

cool but not allowed

Scratch that. I look even worse that possible in the frames that are oval or round or rectangular with an arch at the bottom. Sucky.

meh

So there that goes. I didn’t buy anything. I hate the glasses that I have now, even though I thought they were okay when I got them…  so the problem remains. I’m going to try one more super high end store – for sure some name brand on the side will hide the fact that I look terrible in them – and if I can’t afford them I’ll look on eBay. Chances are I might just give up and go for broke:

The Shape Of Your Head

Do you know what shape your head is? It is apparently super important. You need to know this to know what kind of glasses/sunglasses to buy. What hats look good. How to cut your hair. Which way to do your makeup. How to style your eyebrows.

face shapes

Here’s my problem: They all kinda look the same to me. If your face is a little chubby, it could be round or heart shaped. Or oval. Or maybe square if you’re giving someone a dirty look. Or if you part your bangs differently.

Also, to me, there are things that trump face shape. Like a giant nose. If you have a giant nose, I’m not going to notice the roundness of your face and whether or not your glasses look good, I’m going to wonder if they had to make special glasses to stay on your huge nose.

What shape is your face? Is there a shape better than others? Is my blindness and my funky face shape going to prevent me from ever wearing glasses in public?

Starting A Commune

Here’s the thing: there’s some company I never want to let go home. We got my brother out here, now I just have to recruit everyone else that I know and love, all the rest of my friends and family. If the beach isn’t your thing, I’ll even consider going where you are. No, wait. It rules here.

I think I’ll start a commune. Or cult. Or whatever. Steal your keys when you come to visit and lock you in the pool room. At least some kind of a thing where we all find a way to be together more often. Getting everyone every once in a while isn’t enough.

Especially now that I know I have to say goodbye to a life-changing experience with my SIL, MM and MK’s cousin BQ. And that I’m stuck wishing I was welcoming KD here tomorrow instead of next week, since she could help me process it all. I could just knock on SB’s door with a wedding/housewarming gift in my hands, with my Mom. But no. We have to do our best to be good on the computer and phone.

So maybe, no cult. Just more phone calls. I’ve got to start small.

Just My Current List

Subject to change pending more research.

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Five Factors That Make A Bar Awesome:

  1. You don’t need much more than an ID and a bikini.
  2. A drink or food creation you’ve never heard of and have to have.
  3. The ability to throw peanuts all over the place.
  4. Drink specials that include things like “bottomless” or “free”.
  5. Insane people watching, themed events.

Once Is Enough

MK and I love trying new things, places, and events. If it looks or sounds interesting, we’ll check it out. Maybe we hear about it from a friend, or read it in the paper. Even if it is something sort of unusual, we try to have fun.

Some of those things have totally stuck. We go out for Taco Tuesday all the time. Free concerts in the parks are great in the summer.

Some things I love to say “Yes, we did that.”, but once could totally be enough. Legoland, Sea World, certain museum exhibits, Comic Con, even certain themed parties and events that go on here annually. Yesterday totally falls in to that “I’m good” category.

The Del Mar Race Track is an overwhelming place. It’s the only race track I’ve been to, so I don’t know if it’s the same relative size/environment as other places. You might remember I told you about our first time there, for the Million Dollar Purse Day. We thought that would be the big day, but were corrected last year and told that Opening Day was where it was at. That was big hat day. That was see and be seen day. So we had to go!

It was hot. And packed. And crazy. We (I) spent way too much money trying to stay hydrated (with beer). We paid to get in to the nice part but still weren’t quite able to figure out the best place to hang out. There was some amazing people watching, for sure. By the end of the day all the ladies/girls in less sensible shoes were doing the barefoot walk of shame home. *giggle*

But that was kind of it. Don’t get me wrong, I had the greatest time in the world with my friends – they are so fun that part is a given. And we all dressed up and I felt like a pretty pretty princess. But the hassle of parking, trying to even see the races, and getting around for food and drinks was a bit much. If there were just a few less people I would have felt better, I think. Unlimited ticket sales = me feeling claustrophobic!

So many of our friends go to this event every single year. I know two girls that were devastated this was the first year they were going to miss…I didn’t get it. It’s not to say we’d never go again, I mean – if we’re invited, and there’s nothing better to do…but it’s not something I’m going to come to expect!

Here are all our silly pictures!

Tell me: what’s something you were glad you tried once and have never done again?