MK is a procrastinator. A big one. Many of you know this about him. What you might not know – and what I didn’t know until we were married- was just how bad.
For example, there is an unopened TurboTax CD sitting on his desk right now. Before I got married my daddy did my taxes in January for me right when I got my W2 and sent it to him so I could get that money back for whatever car repair or rent that came up right when I was low on cash. But it got done. Early.
So I couldn’t comprehend the first April 15th I spent with MK, where he stayed up until nearly midnight and had to find the last open post office to get a postmark in time. And the year after that, even with me suggesting we get an early start, the same results. That was a frustrating time. He doesn’t like to be forced in to things. He’ll put it off until he can’t possibly do it in time, then does it. The taxes always get done (and well).
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I could do our taxes, never mind quickly. This guy has the hardest job for taxes on the planet, but he’s mastered it in the last ten years. Well, the last ten April 14th and 15ths. While I hide under the covers and eat crackers. It makes him a little crazy. Then we can’t spend money for like a month, the more I think about it the more worked up I get over the craziness…
So I’m over it. I’ve taken a step back, told TB I’ll be on her couch to avoid the whirlwind of looking for stamps and getting to the post office on time. Stay out of the path of the last minute filer, that’s SGS’s advice.
Are you any good at giving gifts? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, part of me wanting to be nice and do things for other people. I bet everyone we know thinks we are terrible people that just spend money on ourselves, but here’s a reminder that’s just not true.
I haven’t bought anyone in my family a birthday present in like, maybe ever. The last time I tried to buy my mom a birthday gift I was in a car wreck that completely totaled me, the car, and the gifts. And the two new CDs I bought myself (who doesn’t buy themselves stuff when they’re out shopping for others?). The problem really is that I have no idea what on earth they would want. I know what I think they SHOULD want, but over the years I’ve learned just how adopted I probably am by sharing these ideas with others and being laughed at.
Anyway, recently I got a gift for a friend (that got me one first, that’s like then you HAVE to do something) and I think she liked it. Then, just recently, I found ANOTHER gift. For a friend. That WANTED this gift. But couldn’t get it. And I got it. And they’ll get it soon. It’s dorky, but man am I super excited. I’m hoping that my gift giving lameness is turning around!
Side note: I was so worried I already blogged about being a crappy gift giver that I searched for ‘gift’ on my blog and reread a bunch of old posts, and man am I hilarious. Seriously, though, while being paranoid and searching, I found this post. Number 5 is why this is funny.
Cute young woman or dirty old lady?
On the one hand, I think I’ve got a young ski outfit. I’m short, in my head that means I’m still growing. I feel young. I wear silly tshirts, I put my hair in pigtails. I stay up late and go out dancing.
On the other hand, I totally use Oil of Olay and have a bad knee and aches and pains. I complain about kids driving too fast. I know about the 80s, which was forever ago now.
Let me explain. I went skiing by myself. It’s hard – you have to know where you put the car and get all your own stuff. But it’s fun – you can do the same run 1000 times and stop when you want and talk to strangers on the chair lift.
I’ve never felt old or grown up. I don’t have those markers, other than being married- no mortgage, kids, whatever. So explain to me why talking to the guy on the lift and finding out he was 26 (I’m 27) made me feel like someone’s great great aunt?? I mean, I felt old! I usually assume anyone not in the Reindeer Club ski school is way waaay older than me. If you don’t look like a teenager, you’re 50. Apparently I’m closer to the latter now. And no one warned me! Today is the first day I’ve ever felt old. Hopefully it passes…
I was all ready to get back in the swing of things here on somegosoftly. ASH and NH are amazing guests and have helped worlds in cheering me up and helping me move forward. We’ve seen some amazing snow in the past few days and had great times skiing. Then the computer died. It was on the fritz in CT and kept crashing strangely. But two days ago it just quit.
Whether it ended up being a virus or hardware issue, it seems to be corrected for the moment. And just in time – there’s a lot of interesting events going down…TB joined facebook. That makes me laugh. SXSW is coming. That means I need to be able to immediately jump on and RSVP to the barrage of oncoming emails. NH is too smart, and ASH is too lawyer-ly, I need to be able to hold a conversation, so Wikipedia needs to be sitting here ready and waiting.
In other news, I miss my mom (FAMILY), I was told my makeup is not as awesome as I thought, and I’m skiing much better. So long as this computer holds up, I’m getting it back together.
I’m feeling pretty lost right now. The reality of losing my grandmother still hasn’t hit me. The reminder stings – that nothing is in our hands, that we have no control, that we don’t get to pick when or how, not for us, not for our loved ones.
I want to move on, celebrate her life – do all those things people tell you to. I want to not be bitter, sad, angry or confused. That will take me some time. My grandmother was such an amazing part of my life- I wasn’t ready for that part to be over.
As we finally let go of a loved one who has died, we move into the last part of our “grief work”. This doesn’t mean that we become our old selves again. We will never be our old selves again. We come out of any kind of deep grief as different persons than we were before. ~Barbara Johnson
I’m sorry I haven’t returned your phone calls or answered your questions. If others are asking you about me, refer them here. There’s more, but you don’t really want to hear ALL of it.
We had our place until the end of the month. In writing. The 84 year old owner failed to tell the (probably stoned) 30 year old manager that she gave our place to someone else. We found out Monday. We needed to be out on Wednesday. We kept the (probably stoned) manager that had let us lease the place anyway from being fired by agreeing to leave. Then the market got crazy. And we needed the internet. And my car can’t get a tow hitch. And I remembered that I have to go to the dentist Thursday, fully sedated, all day style. So we packed and shipped some stuff to some random addresses. Then we moved almost everything to another apartment, upstairs. That smells funny.
Then we stayed downstairs with the computers until the old lady yelled at us to get out. I stuck my tongue out at her. I don’t think she saw. MK had a rough day. We almost started driving Tuesday. But we didn’t. So, as of today, we will stay one more weekend to say goodbye, and we will leave Monday or Tuesday. But at the rate we’ve been going, I wouldn’t count on it…
Packing sucks. And it’s making me feel guilty. I hate feeling guilty. It appears by my rough estimations via google maps that there are clothes that have journeyed 3642 miles, and that I have never worn. I have lugged them, stuffing our car to the brink of collapse, and never put them on. So now I get to drive them another 1300 miles to store them.
The clothes get me to my biggest tirade: clothes hangers. We couldn’t take them all with us the first two times, and being a no wire hangers kind of girl, I am now in possession of an obnoxious amount of hangers. That I paid for. I’m not sure how they’re going to get anywhere, but no clothes hanger will be left behind! 😉
There are also now two sets of a lot of things in my possession, and three sets of some other things. We purchased more dishes when our needs weren’t met here. We purchased Christmas decorations when we were depressed to not have ours with us. There’s some leftover wrapping paper, spices I can’t bear to part with, and the gifts from various birthdays and holidays that we’ve accumulated (don’t think I don’t like gifts, that’s not a complaint!).
I’ve done fairly well without all the other stuff that we left the first time we moved – our furniture, family photos, scrapbooks, paintings. It was hard initially but I learned that whole “it’s just stuff” lesson. I’m trying to remind myself of that lesson now, but it doesn’t make the task at hand that much easier! We’re having to leave much earlier than we expected and it’s not going to be fun. I wish my Grandma, tight-roll packer extraordinaire were here- she could do it all in a day.