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State Of The Union Drinking Game 2008
President George W. (Dubya) Bush will be delivering his State of the Union Address this Monday Night, January 28th, 2008 at 9pm EST.Unlike last year, there is some cause for celebration as this will be the last address Dubya will deliver as President. Still, he has plenty of time to muck things up, so with equal parts fear and joy, the only way to get through this is to drink up!Those who got drunk with me last year will notice a return of many of last year’s favorite rules, but stay focused, there’s much CHANGE from last year, and remember, folks, we all love the buzzword of CHANGE!
Here are the rules for
The State of the Union Drinking Game, version 2008, Last Year of the Dubya:
Drink Every Time:
-Dubya mentions “The Surge” and how it’s working in Iraq.
-Dubya mentions the need to keep long-term military operations in Iraq and/or Afghanistan.
-Dubya mentions Iran, Pakistan, or North Korea in or out of the context of talking about “nukes”.
-Dubya announces a new PC-term his aides have created for “The War on Terror” or simply mentions the “The War on Terror” or mentions “9/11″.
-Dubya talks about the “Stimulus Package” that will help keep the economy from slipping into recession.
-Dubya talks about the current Presidential Primaries, the upcoming Presidential Election, or CHANGE.
-Dubya squints really hard, furrows his brow, purses his lips, and looks like a chimpanzee.
-Dubya butchers the English language with the mispronunciation of a big word, the missuse of a commonly used word, or the creation of a word that did not previously exist.
-They cut to a shot of Hillary Clinton folding her arms, looking constipated, and even more pissed than when Bill said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.”
-They cut to a shot of Barack Obama looking thoughtful, pensive, and confident.
-They cut to a shot of Condaleeza Rice clapping like the lap dog she is.
-Nancy Pelosi (in the background sitting behind the President) looks very stiff and bug-eyed as she tries to hold back a massive attack of “head shaking” and “oh, no he didn’t” gazes.
-Nancy Pelosi blinks. (You’ll be drunk before Dubya even opens his mouth.)
-Dick Cheney (also in his place sitting behind the President) appears to be leaning too far to one side and is about to topple over in a heart attack or strain from an evil grimace.
-The Republican (and still minority) side of the House gives Dubya a completely unwarranted standing ovation.
*Surgeon General’s Warning: If you drink too much, you may find yourself in a coma and not awake until 2009 when a Democrat is back in the White House.
Day Late
So there I am, all finished with my shopping, and I find
this.
There’s nothing this cool coming from me this year. Maybe next time.
Probably my favorite:
www.images-amazon.com
Logical Or Wasteful?
I see how these could be true, but why waste the good stuff?
15 Uses For Vodka (source)
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
www.absolutads.com
NANO TOTAL: 6775 words. Don’t ask.
NaBlo Day 10: Check.
Life-Changing Stuff
This is a great quote that I found recently, from PJ Harvey:
‘The world doesn’t need any more art that’s just alright’, says Polly Harvey. ‘It only needs mind-blowing, inspirational, life-changing stuff’.
That’s motivation to create something amazing no matter what it is.
Cleaner Than Real Pumpkins
How I’d Get Through Work, If I Did
Here’s a little something fun for your Monday. Which I will be spending in bed. It was a long, long weekend.
www.neatorama.com
There’s another great pic if you click the link!
Using “Like” Or “As”
This website, cracked.com, is pretty funny. There are many many lists of things that I would remember and write about if I were smarter. Or at least more resourceful. Or knew how to use the internet. Or…well, you get the idea.
Here’s the list of the 12 Most Ridiculous Similes in Music History for starters.
The album titles list and the bad band names list would be high on MY list of good lists as well.
Biggest Loser, For A Minute
It appears sad but true that my awe inspiring weight loss show is not all happiness. There’s apparently cheating and cheap tricks and people regaining it all shortly after the show.
Diet Blog posted this about the show.
I know sometimes you read, but you don’t listen…
If you don’t go there, check out this Time Magazine link, at least. (It’s short…)
It really proves that even with all the help in the world, the idea of losing more than ONE POUND A WEEK is unreasonable. We have to have patience with what we are trying to do to our bodies, whether it’s losing weight, gaining weight, or making any dream come true.
www.realitytvmagazine.com
Paper Critter
From my friend over at Crave Thought.
I spend my VIIT (Very Important Internet Time) this morning making this sexy lady:
Click Here! (and you can get the 360 view)
I’m not smart enough to get it embedded in my blog, but it’s worth looking at, it’s so cute. Here’s the pic, if you’re lazy.
You’re supposed to print it out, cut it, assemble it, and take it out for long walks on the beach and feed it and all that but who has that kind of time. It will have to exist in the little creation army I sent it to go live with.
Make your own at Paper Critters.
Cat Killfoil 