Here are the rules for
The State of the Union Drinking Game, version 2008, Last Year of the Dubya:
Drink Every Time:
-Dubya mentions “The Surge” and how it’s working in Iraq.
-Dubya mentions the need to keep long-term military operations in Iraq and/or Afghanistan.
-Dubya mentions Iran, Pakistan, or North Korea in or out of the context of talking about “nukes”.
-Dubya announces a new PC-term his aides have created for “The War on Terror” or simply mentions the “The War on Terror” or mentions “9/11″.
-Dubya talks about the “Stimulus Package” that will help keep the economy from slipping into recession.
-Dubya talks about the current Presidential Primaries, the upcoming Presidential Election, or CHANGE.
-Dubya squints really hard, furrows his brow, purses his lips, and looks like a chimpanzee.
-Dubya butchers the English language with the mispronunciation of a big word, the missuse of a commonly used word, or the creation of a word that did not previously exist.
-They cut to a shot of Hillary Clinton folding her arms, looking constipated, and even more pissed than when Bill said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.”
-They cut to a shot of Barack Obama looking thoughtful, pensive, and confident.
-They cut to a shot of Condaleeza Rice clapping like the lap dog she is.
-Nancy Pelosi (in the background sitting behind the President) looks very stiff and bug-eyed as she tries to hold back a massive attack of “head shaking” and “oh, no he didn’t” gazes.
-Nancy Pelosi blinks. (You’ll be drunk before Dubya even opens his mouth.)
-Dick Cheney (also in his place sitting behind the President) appears to be leaning too far to one side and is about to topple over in a heart attack or strain from an evil grimace.
-The Republican (and still minority) side of the House gives Dubya a completely unwarranted standing ovation.
*Surgeon General’s Warning: If you drink too much, you may find yourself in a coma and not awake until 2009 when a Democrat is back in the White House.