Category Archives: Writing

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How To Write A Novel In 3 Days

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Keep in mind this advice only gets you as far as I get for the rest of the day, I’m right down to the wire…that might not be a whole novel, maybe just most of a novel. that this is the advice of an expert, and I wouldn’t really advocate any of this, seeing as I can only barely feel my fingertips now.

  • Shower when you’re stuck for an idea. It’ll make you creative.
  • Find someone else to cook for you.
  • A way to record your progress that motivates you to keep it going.
  • Loud music.
  • Specific & measurable goals. Like three days, 40000 words.
  • A reward schedule for making said goals.
  • Write things down on paper if they don’t fit. They might later.
  • Bad weather helps.
  • Someone losing their memory. I should have used that.
  • Wrist pads. Which I did not have, and regret.
  • Sugar free Red Bull.
  • Cashews, or snack of choice that you shouldn’t be having.
  • Lucky socks.
  • Eye drops.
  • Desperation.

NANO TOTAL:nano_07_winner_large.gif
NaBlo Day 29: Check.

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Uphill Battles

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You might have noticed, unlike last November, I’m not talking very much about my writing. This book, which I’m fine saying is my second, is good. I have no idea where it came from, but I like it. While my first sits around collecting dust and rejection letters, I’m proud to not give up on either. I have two more days to finish about 30,000 words. And I’m going to try. I can average over 1,000 words an hour if I’m focused. I get focused every two hours or so. I might make it. You never know. Even if I don’t, I’m going to finish this one and send it out into the same world of depressing no thank yous.

It’s getting to be kind of funny. I never dealt well with rejection and now I’m learning first hand what it’s like to put yourself out there and get let down. You have to believe what you’ve done is good, is worth it, and know that you’ll find success, that trying isn’t failing.

I want to catch up on life and tell you my stories and call my family and friends, but everything is put on hold while I try to bust this out. I don’t want to be a quitter. I’ve done that before too- it’s time for the new me to get to work. I’ve got to sell 1000 books if I want to get us a house out here anyway. Can’t burn out before number 2.

rejection
www.users.wirefire.com

NANO TOTAL: 20037 words. (!)
NaBlo Day 27: Check.

Unknown's avatar

The Whole Problem

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There’s a simple, simple answer – why I’m sucking so bad this year. And it’s not spending all my time at the beach, it’s been a little gray this week.
I’m missing my ugly grandpa writing sweater! Remember this post? Last year, I went out and got a Hemingway-esque writing aide. Yes, it was itchy and hideous, but it obviously worked. And this year, I’m not working. I think it’s because my sweater is miles and miles away, stored away in a box, itching things around it, and not helping me write. I need to blame something.

writing sweater

NANO TOTAL: 7869 words.
NaBlo Day 11: Check.

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Can’t Sit Still

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Apparently, over the last 11 months, I have lost the ability to be on the computer and not on the internet. Finding this makes me think I need to pull the connection. Also, the ability to write. Really, I can’t sit still. I thought a new place would make me comfortable in spending hours at the computer. I’m getting up earlier than I ever did in Seattle. But I can’t relax. There’s too much to do.

Well, there’s not, but I keep finding things. I can’t decompress and get out of this world long enough to write anything coherent. It’s supposed to just eventually happen, but as we all know, I don’t have forever. The deadline is the point. I wish that would register in my busy little brain.

But nooooo. I’m making new friends, reading new blogs, playing Scrabble. Failing at time management. Becoming easily distracted. Busy bee.

hamster wheel
www.jupiterimages.com

If husband were to give me a performance evaluation, it’d go like this.

“Well, you’re making dinner – check, going to the gym – check, so well, the whole real reason I let you quit working was to get famous. How are your books coming? Oh really? FAIL.

You’re fired from not working. Get off your blog and go get a job.”

NANO TOTAL: 4283 words.
NaBlo Day 8: Check.

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If I Knew This Last Year

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The book totally would have been done by now!! Right…

How To Write A Book

This is Millie Von Kruesenstein, Y.P.R.'s typist.

  1. Do absolutely nothing until you can see the whites of your deadline’s eyes.
  2. If you’ve got cowriters, try to disagree as much as possible. If you’re of the same opinion regarding a section of text, bicker about dinner choices.
  3. Criticize what little progress you’ve achieved and doubt what little talent you possess.
  4. Do not write any new words when there are still old words that have only been rewritten twelve times. No sentence is complete until it’s lost all traces of your original thought.
  5. Complain about the pressure of a looming deadline to everyone you know. This will ameliorate the jealousy and bitterness felt by friends without book deals. It will also put an end to social invitations that may hamper your writing progress, as your former friends will now hate you.
  6. Stop sleeping. Complain about how tired you are too.
  7. Never have a mental breakdown before 11 p.m.
  8. Do not postpone other projects so that you can focus on the current one. It’s better to spread yourself so thin that you produce an evenly distributed amount of complete crap.
  9. If you’ve gotten this far without a single technical foul-up, now’s a good time to download something viral.
  10. Make a schedule for yourself, but do not even remotely follow it. Instead, continually do some mental math that divides your remaining pages by the rapidly dwindling number of hours.
  11. The best writing is that which is compiled from dozens of different documents, including things you’ve e-mailed or text-messaged to yourself. Try to create separate documents on as many different computers as are available. Some things will be irrevocably lost, and hours will be spent cursing. Learn a lesson about orderliness, but do not act upon such knowledge.
  12. Some terribly constructed sentences always make good low-hanging fruit for your cowriters to edit, thus protecting your awful idea from their meddling.
  13. Were you napping? Stop that. It’s 11 o’clock already. Start freaking out, hard.
  14. If you’ve worked hard three days in a row, take a hard-earned day off. And it looks like snow tomorrow, so you might as well take the whole weekend. But a day off from writing is not a day off from complaining!
  15. If you haven’t drastically gained or lost weight, you’re just not writing well.
  16. Assume your sources are reputable. When some accidental research reveals the source that serves as foundation for your work to be as reliable as grandma’s memory, briefly consider the amount of work it will take to correct things at this late hour, then fuck it and move on.
  17. Pick up any book on your bookshelf, skim a few pages, and admit that it’s a terrible book… but better than anything you’ll ever write. Cry.
  18. If one of your cowriters is something of an optimist, steal his hat.
  19. If you’re not panicking, call your agent and request they he or she panics. You’ll have no problem panicking afterward.
  20. Call your mom.
  21. Your time is more valuable than your money. Spend as much cash as you’ve got in your pockets.

via yankeepotroast.org

Unknown's avatar

Fool Me Twice…

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This seems like a bad idea. Last year, I discovered NaNoWriMo. Then I signed up.
Then I spent a month writing, in between all other events. Here’s that month in case you weren’t with me for it.

Am I crazy enough to do this again? My plan was to be finished with the first one before starting the second. Not gonna happen. Trying to publish a book is hard. Even for an extraordinary writer like myself…

I’m not even halfway through professional editing. But that’s the rough part, right? And if I’m going to be famous, I’ll need to write more than one book – if I want to be rich I need a thousand…

NaNo got me going. The deadline, the camaraderie, the force to write, the adventure. So yes, it’s a crazy, incredibly nerdy, unrealistic thing to do. And I just signed up.

I’m trying to decide whether I’m going to drag you through it with me.

national-novel-writing-monthcopy.jpg

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The Thief Maker

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Publishing a book is hard. And it’s a big deal. I had no idea where to start once I stopped writing. I really like the idea of publishing the book through a self publishing company rather than dealing with stress submission and rejection. I have talked about iUniverse with David, you’ll even find him in my blogroll. He was honestly great at giving me personal feedback and talks about his experience on his blog as well.

I’d been meaning for a while to get his book, and it arrived in the mail from Amazon the other day. I didn’t put it down. It was super interesting to be reading a 9/11 related book this week. It does serve as an important reminder. I thought everything looked and was laid out great, and loved the story. I definitely suggest that you check it out!

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Better Bother You

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If nothing else, this article might shock you. I don’t really want you to leave somegosoftly.com in search of greener pastures, but maybe you should pick up a book once in a while. And no, Harry Potter DOESN’T COUNT. I mean, I’m sitting here working on a book and trying to get it published, but this makes me wonder a little bit if there’s any point to all my efforts. Well, besides the bragging rights and notoriety and world tours I’m imagining in my dreams.

I personally discovered who I was through my reading, went to college to seek out those who inspired me and learn more about them, and have put my career aside to attempt the artistic feat of having an impact like that on someone through my words. Now I’m afraid it’s all for nothing.

One In Four Read No Books Last Year

large library of books
www.eximiousbooks.com

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Great Marketing

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Find the time to click this link, and tab through all the pages on the bottom right. (About 30 or so.) Miranda July does a hilarious job of making me want to read her book. I love it and wish I could think of something half as creative.

Oh, but I need to have a finished book first.

That part keeps messing with me.

book cover
www.fictionfactor.com