Not like we have any idea if we’re going anywhere…

#110

Five Things We Still Haven’t Done In San Diego:

1. Sea World
2. Padres Game
3. Park Cookout
4. Bonfire
5. Catalina

It’s still August, but you can feel it in the air here, I swear.

#109

Five Reasons Not To Cry About The End Of Summer:

1. Football. Finally.
2. End of Padres = finding parking = more trips downtown!
3. 90 days (or so) until ski season!
4. All my TV shows are back.
5. Kids go back to school!

Recently (go find it) I twittered about the awesomeness coming this weekend, Inner2bapalooza.

UPDATED TO ADD: see comments for the video!

#107

The Five Paragraphs Of The Best Mass Email Ever:

1. With attendance reaching over 1000 strong, this years INNER2BAPALOOZA should prove to be San Diego’s finest moment in debauchery.  In order to ensure your supreme pleasure in floatation, we at TFE have put together a solid list of “Do Bring” and “Don’t Brings” for this Saturday.
2. Do Bring:   flotation device, beer beer and MORE beer, bags of ice, coolers, costumes, wigs, air horns, coors light girls, swell attitude, midgets with chips and salsa hats, pasties, short shorts, sunscreen, mullets, jack daniels (please), edible underwear, bar-tending Michael Phelps, hovercrafts, aircraft carriers, singing hippopotamuses, beer bongs, loose hippy chicks, filet mignon, ID’s to verify your age(might be very important!!!@%^@&), Megan Fox sans weird boyfriend, strong will to live
3. Don’t Bring:   shark chum, working toasters, cement shoes, barking spiders, Greg Louganis, yellow number 5, aquaphobia, blow fish mittens, bad weather, Hanz Brix
4. KEY ANNOUNCMENT:  The King and Queenapalooza –  As for the Annual King and Queen of Innertubapalooza nominations, all outfits(or lack thereof), Full Extensions, pelvic vibrations, wild animals stolen from the San Diego Zoo, blow up dolls, and overall weird gestures will be taken into account.  Pretty much if you want the world’s most prestigious sauce monster trophy, you need to bring your A-game, be jacked up on PCP, and pour booze on yourself all day long while celebrating like it’s a mixture of New Years, the 4th of July, and Summerpalooza(oh wait it is Summerpalooza-what?).
5. Itinerary:
   12:00 – start to arrive at Sail Bay (see map on site)
   1:00 – celebratory Extension to kick off event
   2:30 – Mariachi Nuevo California arrives via pontoon boat and seduces the crowd with loud latin yelps, unkept mustaches, smiling gold teeth, and tequila dragon breath
   4:00 – Blue Angels fly by, Jennifer Hudson national anthem, Blue Man Group drum circle, the Kraken resurfaces after 2000 years of solitude and starts handing out shots of Rumplemintz
   6:00 – The White House calls declaring INNERTUBAPALOOZA a National Holiday and invites Kraken over to discuss healthcare reform
   7:00 – ^%)*$#%)#*@_!!

Fans fits better than ‘friends’…

#106

Five Easiest Ways to Get in Good With The Condo Owners While Throwing A Party:

1. Compliment their grandchildren.
2. Share the food.
3. Share the sweet tea vodka and lemonade.
4. Shoosh your friends at least once for show.
5. Share the rest of the sweet tea vodka and lemonade.

Subject to change pending more research.

#105

Five Factors That Make A Bar Awesome:

1. You don’t need much more than an ID and a bikini.
2. A drink or food creation you’ve never heard of and have to have.
3. The ability to throw peanuts all over the place.
4. Drink specials that include things like “bottomless” or “free”.
5. Insane people watching, themed events.

Two years worth of weeks, officially.

#104

Five Reasons It’s Good Having Family in San Diego:

1. My brother has already made himself very helpful – he fixed the TV!
2. His new place has air conditioning.
3. An extra car.
4. Volleyball buddy!
5. The sports package with all the games.

Let’s be realistic.

#103

What The Health Articles In The Women’s Magazines Really Boil Down To, Every Month:

1. (Insert food here) is good for you; unless you eat too much!
2. Working out is good for you!
3. Not working out is bad for you!
4. Fast food is unhealthy!
5. (Insert same food from #1): will it kill you?

Just a little tribute, regardless of what anyone may think of the guy.

#101

My Five Favorite Michael Jackson Songs:

1. Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
2. PYT
3. Remember the Time
4. Man in the Mirror
5. Human Nature

Reflection is time consuming.

#100

Five Things I’ve Learned After 100 Of These Friday Fives:

1. I will not be a stand up comedian when I grow up.
2. Shorter does not = easier.
3. I need the computer to be in front of me when the funny thing happens or I forget it.
4. I end up repeating myself and being vague way too much for someone who talks as much as I do.
5. I have the best blog followers ever – even if none of them also blog and participate!