Recently (go find it) I twittered about the awesomeness coming this weekend, Inner2bapalooza.
UPDATED TO ADD: see comments for the video!
The Five Paragraphs Of The Best Mass Email Ever:
- With attendance reaching over 1000 strong, this years INNER2BAPALOOZA should prove to be San Diego’s finest moment in debauchery. In order to ensure your supreme pleasure in floatation, we at TFE have put together a solid list of “Do Bring” and “Don’t Brings” for this Saturday.
- Do Bring: flotation device, beer beer and MORE beer, bags of ice, coolers, costumes, wigs, air horns, coors light girls, swell attitude, midgets with chips and salsa hats, pasties, short shorts, sunscreen, mullets, jack daniels (please), edible underwear, bar-tending Michael Phelps, hovercrafts, aircraft carriers, singing hippopotamuses, beer bongs, loose hippy chicks, filet mignon, ID’s to verify your age(might be very important!!!@%^@&), Megan Fox sans weird boyfriend, strong will to live
- Don’t Bring: shark chum, working toasters, cement shoes, barking spiders, Greg Louganis, yellow number 5, aquaphobia, blow fish mittens, bad weather, Hanz Brix
- KEY ANNOUNCMENT: The King and Queenapalooza – As for the Annual King and Queen of Innertubapalooza nominations, all outfits(or lack thereof), Full Extensions, pelvic vibrations, wild animals stolen from the San Diego Zoo, blow up dolls, and overall weird gestures will be taken into account. Pretty much if you want the world’s most prestigious sauce monster trophy, you need to bring your A-game, be jacked up on PCP, and pour booze on yourself all day long while celebrating like it’s a mixture of New Years, the 4th of July, and Summerpalooza(oh wait it is Summerpalooza-what?).
12:00 – start to arrive at Sail Bay (see map on site)
1:00 – celebratory Extension to kick off event
2:30 – Mariachi Nuevo California arrives via pontoon boat and seduces the crowd with loud latin yelps, unkept mustaches, smiling gold teeth, and tequila dragon breath
4:00 – Blue Angels fly by, Jennifer Hudson national anthem, Blue Man Group drum circle, the Kraken resurfaces after 2000 years of solitude and starts handing out shots of Rumplemintz
6:00 – The White House calls declaring INNERTUBAPALOOZA a National Holiday and invites Kraken over to discuss healthcare reform
7:00 – ^%)*$#%)#*@_!!