Next Time, It’s For Cash Money

So there we are, in Denver, two drinks into a great Friday. SB and RB are some poker playing fools. They convince us to go and play a hand with them. I have no idea what to expect. I play poker with people I know, and that doesn’t usually end well. MK thinks it’s funny to let everyone know that he always ends up having to try to make up for my losses. Whatever. We get there right at the last minute before they start. There are three tables set up, about 36 people. RB’s already seated, someone goes all in first hand, SB sits. MK and I have a drink, while I get more and more nervous. Someone else goes out, MK’s at SB’s table. I’m feeling ill. And confused. They seat me at RB’s table. That’s cool. I don’t play my first 6000 hands, they all suck. I finally see a face card and get excited. The rest is history.

First I knocked out Mr. Johnny Pokers-a-lot, with sunglasses and a cowboy hat and the whole deal. He didn’t believe me. Silly man. I progressively smoked the table as my hands got hotter and hotter. It was like being in a movie. They split up one of the smaller tables and I get stuck next to this tool that’s all trying to intimidate me out of my blinds. Grr. Then my hands cool off so I chill out. I make it to the last table – at this point RB is long gone, SB can’t believe I’m still alive, and she and MK went and played some Omaha. Last table is nuts. Everyone is boys, minus me and a blond lady. She and I all in, knock a guy out, and split the pot!!

You know where this is going: I now am the proud owner of a certificate stating that I made it to the last hand, against mullet head that took down MK and SB, and smote her greatly with my trip Jacks. YEEHAH!!!!


I really can’t decide to quit while my record is 1-0, or to move to Vegas. I’ve never beat 30+ people at anything. Ever.

I also can’t decide if I’m going to ever talk to my father again – avid watcher of poker on TV, also avid ignorer of happy daughter when she calls to announce her success. The reason? The Red Sox beat the Yankees, of course. Baseball trumps daughter.

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