When MK and I first met, I didn’t want him to see us grow old – know me less than the cool hot chick I was (right). I sat in horror imagining him seeing my wrinkly skin, my health issues. More than that, I didn’t want him to know that I was human, that I could ever have flaws. In mature, reasonable, 19 year old fashion, I decided I would give him a few good years and disappear. I joked about it plenty, but there was some serious thought into the facts at hand, concern when we continued to date, and learn about each other, bad and all.
Then he proposed.
Now we’re married. There’s no running away, I’m (a little) more mature, but I’m still silly about things. I catch myself saying and doing things and worrying if he’s going to change his mind. I talk. A lot. And as a result, you can sometimes talk before you think, and I am the Queen of blurting out the wrong things. I always have good intentions. But it’ll come out wrong, or be a little too impassioned in the heat of the moment.
MK has been the best, most patient and accepting person ever. He’s never been mad. He’s watched me grow, helped me develop responsibly. And taught me to accept myself how I am, and then everyone else will. Stupid mouth and all.
Friday night was so cool. BB cooked us giant super extra delicious turkey legs. Best ever. Then TB and SB came home and we all hung out. And I said a bunch of stupid things. I am excellent at putting my foot in my mouth, and embarrassing myself. *shrugs*
All I know is I’m going to miss these friends the most, that have known MK and I for so long, and accept me no matter what stupid things I blurt out, no matter how some things never change. MK brought me in to his world, and these people have been better to me than anyone ever. We talked late into the night and otherwise had great conversation. We got into the car and MK looks and me and very simply let me know:
“Sometimes you just kill me.”
We erupted into a fit of laughter and acceptance of the fact that no matter how hard I try, I’m still me, and some things might not change.