Marketing Secrets Revealed By Lotion

MK and I have a favorite argument at about 1:30am. I’ll be spaced out on the couch watching an infomercial, for some big thing that you sit in or on or by, or just light and put on the counter, that makes you skinny. I will say something like, “I need that. That looks serious. Or, maybe I could invent something like that but smaller and get rich.”

MK launches into a TIRADE. It doesn’t matter that I was half asleep and not serious, the fact that my thoughts escaped my lips gives him permission.

HE is the expert on the fact that if ANYTHING, EVER, worked, than we would all know about it and everyone in the world would have one. Like a broom. Well, does everyone have a broom? Um, like a toilet. Everyone would use some version of that thing that worked. So none of it is any good, or we’d know about it. We’re Americans. With computers.

Last night, I thought about this as I watched the one for the ab blaster chair or whatever it was called. Right before I could pick up the phone MK kicked me out to make him dinner. At the store, I saw that Jergens tanning lotion.

This is my rebuttal to MK: I can’t tell you how many people I had to tell about this stuff. I bought it for snippy for her birthday. I heard about it from a friend. But I have never ever ever seen any testimony otherwise that it is perfect, which it is. No blogs, no Us Weekly reports, no CBS Evening News Headlines.

So, like always, wife:1, MK:0. And, come on over and try some Leptotrimspamax with me whenever.

*Jergens in no way endorses somegosoftly *

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