There is nothing more All-American, more important to core values, more integral to society as a whole and the happiness of the nation – nothing more sacred than the right to be able to toss yourself on a couch, flip on a TV, and find an episode of “Law & Order”.

So explain to me why my go-to cable friends, TBS, USA – why are you supporting terrorism? Why are you changing up the system that has worked so well for everyone for so long? Why would you show me “Bones” or “NCIS“? I don’t understand. And now you tell me you’re bringing me “CSI:NY“? You can’t be serious. That’s what Spike is for.

I mean, good thing there is a beach outside and I don’t have all theat much time for TV these days, or I’d totally lose it. There’s something so comforting about the background noise of Lenny Briscoe and Jack McCoy that make up part of who I am, and that part is missing these days. I’m going to go scour Netflix for seasons I haven’t seen – you let me know when it’s safe to turn on the TV again.

Go shopping for me if you like: The Law and Order Store