Zombies For Dummies

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37 thoughts on “Zombies For Dummies

  1. Ha, hilarious… I’m so tempted to print that and stick it on the fridge at work. The fridge is currently sporting instructions on how to deal with injesting toxic waste – due to all the decomposing lunches in it.

    I think I should leave the toxic waste one up a few more days…

  2. Omg, I’m so fucking sure that there will be a massive zombie attack in 2012, watch out guys, this is serious, always get 3 week of food at your home, be sure that you can be protec by your house and stay there, only moove if you’re sure that you’ll comeback alive, and always get 3 fire weapons at home,(1 large gun like shotgun or machinegun, 1 sniping gun like hunting rifle and 1 easy to use rifle like handguns and etc. Keep always a large weapon like cleaver or sword with you, and be sure that your home is protect. Be safe, and watch out, zombies are mad. 😐

    • becouse the myans were predicting zombies and not a solar flare, or new year they made that tablet for only you to understand. thanks man for shareing this with us who do not have the world orbiting them

  3. Can’t wait for that. I’m sure I could take on a couple of zombies, though not for my whole life :/
    Also, there are a couple people out there that I wouldn’t mind see get eaten.

  4. Personnaly,I sharp my 2 Katana every night, and I make some defense plan to know where I must hide myself to protect me and the other guys that will be with me.

    I hate zombies

    P.s, AK-47 is usefull, but don’t use it like a automatic riffle, use it to snipe the bastards, or use it at will if you have a good ammo suply

    But remember, swords are ulimited and there is no ammo with them :), but it’s dangereous to face some frenetic bastards if you’re too close.

    AK-47 is nice 🙂

  5. If there was a zombie attack… i would probaly baracade my self i my room… i no some time we would need to get out, but i would wait till the military had a stong hold. if the military was wiped out or they couldnt react in time, i would have some zombir killin fun 😀

  6. You know what’s the best defensive way?

    Do what Will Smith did in I Am legend.

    Baracade yourself at night, and go out in the morning.

    Put steel sliding doors on my doors and windows.

    have an arsenal of weaponry in your closet.

    a dog (or anyone else) to keep you company.

    and Spam.

    mmmmm Spam 😀

  7. Pingback: Calling a Spade a Spade - Random Anorexics

  8. you guys are nuts you don’t use a shotgun or a machine gun for zombies. a shotgun really doesn’t have all the much penetrating power at distances unless your using slugs and a machine gun is just too inaccurate. a machine gun is only good for putting alot of rounds down range for supressing fire against HUMANS. and a sword isn’t any good either the blade will dull with time or possibly break your best bet for a close range weapon is a war hammer or a crow bar (crow bar has multiple uses) and as far as fire arms go get a hunting rifle for range a pistol for CQC (close quarters combat) and a sub machine gun with semi auto selector for room clearing. and remember always aim for the head

  9. As the owner of an AK-47 of coarse I’m going to say it would be good for the zombie situation because of it’s durability and punch. However, I think any rifle would work great for dropping zombies with proper training and proper upkeep of the weapon.
    My AK has a bayonet, so in a pinch that might be handy as well!

  10. use a .22 long rifle for longer range..you dont need much power to kill them and ammo will be every where for it, and of course you’ll need an AK and also a pistol that your comfortable shooting. a sword/machete also isnt a bad idea, even though it will dull it can always be sharpened again.

  11. Alrighty, everyone, listen up. What you want is a reasonably accurate weapon, a hunting rifle and the like will work, a machete or other bladed or blunt weapon capable of servering limbs or crushing the skull. You CAN use a hand gun, but ONLY as a back up last ditch weapon. If you panic, all your bullets are gonna do is attact even more zombies.

    If zombies attack, head upstairs to your attic or second floor with as much food, water and nessersary meds as you can, pull up the ladder, and you should be fairly safe from the shambiling hordes. They’ll break in, wander about, and leave.

    if you are in a two story, try demolishing the stair case with tools, and zombies, who cannot climb well, shouldn’t be able to reach. Filling up every bath tub and sink and bucket you have with tap water as well.

    DO NOT USE FIRE! Many a person has thought that they could control an exposed fire, only to destroy their surroundings, or even kill themselves.

    And biggest one of all, pack a dynamo powered radio, earplugs, and at least a hundred rounds of bullets for each of your liscenced civvilan weapons. It’s no good having a high tech killing machine if the bulets at your local hunting supllies only have 30. rimfire rounds, or if the local cops throw you in jail for having illegal firearms.

    Oh, and don’t discout Rimfire. Those little bullets work wonders against a zombie skullat close range. just keep in mind, they hoave no stopping power. Former president Regan got shot, and didn.t notice until an hour later.

  12. Jacob, you took that except out of The Zombie Survival Guide. and the Regan shot from history, but thats pretty much it really. Go with a long rage rifle like a .22 rimfire, or if your able to a good Springfield can put a good size hole in a zombie’s skull with a .30 bullet. For mid range, go with a regular assault rifle like an M4 or an AK, but never go full auto otherwise you will waste bullets and that aint fun. Shotguns barely work unless your in a CQB (Close Quarters Battle) but go with buck shots.
    Machine guns never work unless going against Humans, unless your Sgt. Charles Hathcock who can put a .50 cal round into the skull of a veitcong, but if your not, then say no to the Machine Gun.
    For short range, go with a reliable pistol, like the Colt M1911 .45 for an example, since that particular pistol has been in service since World War I.
    And for hand weapons, a good crowbar can be used for many things, but also bring a good edged weapon, like my personal favorite, the Katana.
    When on the move, cut the hair, no baggy clothes always bring enough supplies along and travel in small groups of 5-6 people, never big groups. Also to remember, use silencers for your weapons if you have them, if not you can always use other silenced weapons like a crossbow or maybe a regular composite Bow.

    • hi guys me again. i was looking at the news and uh… massive epidemic in ny. not zobis but i live here so. i had to fend for myself. a dude at the subway tried to bite me but a cop ran over and shot him to death. iwas almost bitten. luckily it was not the T virus (zombie disease) but rabies. and it was not an epidemic just one man. happy thanks killin- i mean giving. stay alive friends.

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