I think I’m missing “Get up and go”. I have dreamt all my life of writing a book. ALL – MY – LIFE. Now I’m scared. I don’t get scared very often. I mean, I squish the bugs around the house. Now here I am with these ideas and these plot lines and I’m – for the first time – scared.

What if I actually AM successful? I mean, people I know will read this book. What if they don’t like it? What if they think one of the characters is based on them? What if it is??? They’ll secretly hate it and not tell me. They might… I’ll go crazy. Even if the novel is not that serious, it’s still from inside me. Who’s work is that extremely personal? What tech job or sales role has you telling everyone what you’re made of?

I realize I’m getting ahead of myself. There are a million people thinking they can write a book out there. What do I have over them… MK told me tonight I also have no life story of my own. My personal background is against me – I’m less marketable without some great personal hardship. So I’m already in trouble. I think I have a ‘novel’ idea. I think I can do it…

Problem is, it’s almost easier to NOT do it and keep thinking that I can than it will be to throw myself into this and be rejected. And rejected. And…rejected. Or maybe then edited. And rejected.


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