When I went to Denver for SB’s wedding celebration, I saw her Mom. First thing Mom said was that I hadn’t changed at all. Normally that would have bummed me out. But the reality is that I tried a little of everything and learned to be good where I started.
I was thinking of what I’d changed after she’d said that. I mean, it had been 8 years! I had blonde hair, red hair, short hair, almost no hair. I had a dozen bunch of different jobs (My Mom tells me that’s a typo haha). I made new friends. Moved all over the place. Got married. Went from indie rocker to beach bum to ski bum. And after all of that trying to find myself stuff, I DID end up almost the same way I started – long brown hair, goofy smile, loud voice. The things I tried to change ended up being things that I could learn to embrace.
So no, I wasn’t the same at all – and I had changed, but that change made the inside see that the outside was good. That I didn’t need to be insecure (well, okay sometimes I totally still am, way too much but I know it’s silly at least). That I could just keep doing my best to be a me I could be proud of.