Category Archives: Rants

No Control

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I’m feeling pretty lost right now. The reality of losing my grandmother still hasn’t hit me. The reminder stings – that nothing is in our hands, that we have no control, that we don’t get to pick when or how, not for us, not for our loved ones.

I want to move on, celebrate her life – do all those things people tell you to. I want to not be bitter, sad, angry or confused. That will take me some time. My grandmother was such an amazing part of my life- I wasn’t ready for that part to be over.

As we finally let go of a loved one who has died, we move into the last part of our “grief work”. This doesn’t mean that we become our old selves again. We will never be our old selves again. We come out of any kind of deep grief as different persons than we were before.                                ~Barbara Johnson

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The Short Version

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I’m sorry I haven’t returned your phone calls or answered your questions. If others are asking you about me, refer them here. There’s more, but you don’t really want to hear ALL of it.

We had our place until the end of the month. In writing. The 84 year old owner failed to tell the (probably stoned) 30 year old manager that she gave our place to someone else. We found out Monday. We needed to be out on Wednesday. We kept the (probably stoned) manager that had let us lease the place anyway from being fired by agreeing to leave. Then the market got crazy. And we needed the internet. And my car can’t get a tow hitch. And I remembered that I have to go to the dentist Thursday, fully sedated, all day style. So we packed and shipped some stuff to some random addresses. Then we moved almost everything to another apartment, upstairs. That smells funny.

Then we stayed downstairs with the computers until the old lady yelled at us to get out. I stuck my tongue out at her. I don’t think she saw. MK had a rough day. We almost started driving Tuesday. But we didn’t. So, as of today, we will stay one more weekend to say goodbye, and we will leave Monday or Tuesday. But at the rate we’ve been going, I wouldn’t count on it…

Inefficient

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Packing sucks. And it’s making me feel guilty. I hate feeling guilty. It appears by my rough estimations via google maps that there are clothes that have journeyed 3642 miles, and that I have never worn. I have lugged them, stuffing our car to the brink of collapse, and never put them on. So now I get to drive them another 1300 miles to store them.

The clothes get me to my biggest tirade: clothes hangers. We couldn’t take them all with us the first two times, and being a no wire hangers kind of girl, I am now in possession of an obnoxious amount of hangers. That I paid for. I’m not sure how they’re going to get anywhere, but no clothes hanger will be left behind! ;)

There are also now two sets of a lot of things in my possession, and three sets of some other things. We purchased more dishes when our needs weren’t met here. We purchased Christmas decorations when we were depressed to not have ours with us. There’s some leftover wrapping paper, spices I can’t bear to part with, and the gifts from various birthdays and holidays that we’ve accumulated (don’t think I don’t like gifts, that’s not a complaint!).

I’ve done fairly well without all the other stuff that we left the first time we moved – our furniture, family photos, scrapbooks, paintings. It was hard initially but I learned that whole “it’s just stuff” lesson. I’m trying to remind myself of that lesson now, but it doesn’t make the task at hand that much easier! We’re having to leave much earlier than we expected and it’s not going to be fun. I wish my Grandma, tight-roll packer extraordinaire were here- she could do it all in a day.

Least Fun Ever

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What is your least favorite thing in the entire universe? Mine is the dentist. It’s that water sprayer and air blower thing. It makes this noise that goes up my spine worse than fingers on chalk or styrofoam squeaking. I get goosebumps and chills and shakes. Ugh.

It also doesn’t help that my first dentist was what I would have to call technically not good. And I ended up with braces. Twice. And retainers. And a cracked tooth that fell off a lot. So when I grew up I got a better dentist, at least tried. There were many failed attempts to get that right. But then my hubby bought me some fake teeth to fix the cracked one and others, and I thought I was in the clear.

While you are goofing around on the internet reading this tomorrow, I will be thoroughly sedated as my crowns and caps and the veneer that chipped (a completely unrelated tooth to the OTHER chipped one, injured VIA cucumber salad at a cookout this weekend) are all going to be dealt with for once and for all. And while I look forward to finally finding a great dentist (my cleaning was painless) and the drugs should help, I am going to have a rough couple days. Hopefully I’ll never have another messed up tooth again.

Pity me, please. :(

Fighting Over Seals, Part Two: Current Dilemma

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Today, if you go to see the seals you might wander into a different scenario depending on the day. The failure of the city to resolve the issue is causing people to take unimaginable actions.

Some days the seals are left to themselves. People walk the seawall and enjoy the view of the beach and the ocean. Children smile and point and get excited to see the animals. Tourists are taking pictures. Chances are good it’s a cloudy day. There will be a small table staffed by a volunteer selling “We just need one beach” t-shirts supporting the seals.

On a sunny day, weekend, or holiday there might be a different scene. The seals will be out in the water looking for a rock or ledge to rest on. Recently some snorkelers have gone so far as to hire private security and put signs up proclaiming their right to use the beach. Families unaware of the small signs warning of the unsafe fecal bacteria levels will allow their children to use the beach and swim in the water. Cops are now trolling the area more regularly.

People not paying attention are finding their pictures on the web and on the local news – they will be found and ticketed with a heavy fine for breaking the Marine Mammal Protection Act that tells them they must stay a certain distance away from the seals. Recently a man was even sentenced for threating the seal activists.

The stress this must be causing the animals is hard to imagine. The fear of disease is a concern of the locals. The problem is clear – the situation needs to be resolved once and for all. All the back and forth is just making the place harder to visit and enjoy. To dredge the sand will cost over $500,000, with $50,000 in annual maintenance going forward. The seals last hope may be the Navy, who have the ability to say that dredging could change the California coast too dramatically and may damage the other landscape. Whether or not the seals are allowed to stay, I certainly hope to see the resolution of the issue while I live here.

Fighting Over Seals, Part One: Background

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Here in La Jolla, there is a Children’s Pool that was trusted to the city ages ago (1931) by Ellen Browning Scripps. It consists mainly of a sea wall. The idea was to have a safe place for the kiddos to swim. Over time, seals started hanging out on the beachy part on breaks from their adventures. Over more time, they began to birth their pups there annually – the only place of it’s kind in Southern California. This pool has now become famous in its own right – the number one tourist attraction for La Jolla.

In 2007, some mean spirited lady named Valerie O’Sullivan sued the city for not keeping the conditions of the trust. Mainly, she wanted the sand that had accumulated dredged so the seals would leave and kids could swim there again.

On the one hand is the trust. The city is supposed to do with what you give it exactly as you wish.

On the other hand is the change in time since that trust. There are dozens of other safe beaches and pools for children that weren’t previously established. Not to mention EBS wanted kids to enjoy the pool, arguably they enjoy watching the seals (more of that in Part Two).

The city is slightly on the side of the seals, trying to find ways to hide behind marine mammal protection laws in order to avoid pushing them out. In addition, they’ve tried to find that the water would be bacterially unfit for years to come. Unfortunately they seem unable to find a convincing argument for the seals. It has been two years of heated debate back and forth over what to do. I’m currently reading the entire history through the court briefing (if you’re crazy it’s right here).

Here’s the link to the Friends of the Seals.

Here’s the link to the Friends of Mean Spirited Monsters of the Law.

In Part Two I’ll tell you about the recent escalation of the situation and the pros and cons of change.

Is Rachael Ray A Terrorist?

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It’s not often that I’m on top of things, but every once in a while, I have this feeling that makes me think “something is going to come of that”. This is a pretty ridiculous example, I’ll admit it.

Back during SXSW I was making fun of some buddies rocking the houndsooth-esque scarves. I doubt anyone was pledging solidarity or thinking of Yasser Arafat. Here’s where I make it a don’t. You can read more here about the controversy of the Western culture fashion trend.

Here is the NY Times article about the recent debacle. Again, I’m not commenting on whether or not people should have been offended, or who’s right. But I will say that blogs are sometimes (not in my case of course) powerful tools that can shape perception – in this case enough for the ad to be pulled. Not to mention someone calling Rachael Ray a terrorist (maybe her stylist?), which I find hilarious. What do you think?

racheal ray ad

Fulfilling Contractual Obligations

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There is nothing quite so sweet as accomplishment. Be it passing a test, making a deadline, scoring big in a sport. When your main duties are as thrilling as mine – cooking and cleaning, running and writing – these accomplishments end up being thirty times smaller and a hundred times more exciting.

I have been a customer of Sprint since I was 16 and DL got me my first cell phone in Texas. I converted my husband way back when we were dating and I could no longer afford to not have him on the same plan, for free minutes. I have been in a contract for as long, getting free new fancy phones as often as possible.

For the last few weeks, we haven’t been under contract. We finally made it two whole years without upgrading anything. We are unencumbered. The joy! The success! The avoidance of temptation! The freedom!

Mainly, the best news regarding this freedom is flirting. We are flirting with all these NEW phone companies. And it doesn’t feel like cheating anymore. Since Sprint service has only gotten worse since I was 16, especially anywhere near a beach, mall, road, or small child.

Too bad I bet we’ll be roped back in by the end of the week. I’m just enjoying while it lasts.

cell phone signal

Can’t Sit Still

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Apparently, over the last 11 months, I have lost the ability to be on the computer and not on the internet. Finding this makes me think I need to pull the connection. Also, the ability to write. Really, I can’t sit still. I thought a new place would make me comfortable in spending hours at the computer. I’m getting up earlier than I ever did in Seattle. But I can’t relax. There’s too much to do.

Well, there’s not, but I keep finding things. I can’t decompress and get out of this world long enough to write anything coherent. It’s supposed to just eventually happen, but as we all know, I don’t have forever. The deadline is the point. I wish that would register in my busy little brain.

But nooooo. I’m making new friends, reading new blogs, playing Scrabble. Failing at time management. Becoming easily distracted. Busy bee.

hamster wheel
www.jupiterimages.com

If husband were to give me a performance evaluation, it’d go like this.

“Well, you’re making dinner – check, going to the gym – check, so well, the whole real reason I let you quit working was to get famous. How are your books coming? Oh really? FAIL.

You’re fired from not working. Get off your blog and go get a job.”

NANO TOTAL: 4283 words.
NaBlo Day 8: Check.

Vick Doesn’t Matter

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Or how about shouldn’t matter, not this much. It seems everyone is a little too worked up about the dogs. I’m late even getting out an opinion at this point. But I didn’t expect it to blow up into the talk of the preseason. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I like dogs. I love dogs. Fines and jail time, that’s the law. Suspension from the game? Y’all think that’s appropriate, fine.

But what about these guys?
I had no idea until I read this article: Last Days – The Stranger
Take a look at the first bullet point.

These guys beat their PREGNANT wives and were not punished by the NFL. Dogs don’t matter to me that much. Without the original article I’m having trouble finding all the ramifications, but does it make sense?

does not equal unequal
www.greenville.k12.sc.us

The whole problem is a typical one with regard to our sports heroes, that of uproar and unpopular actions getting in the way of equal treatment and correct punishments. We can be mad about the dogs, we can let the law handle the punishment for the rules he broke. But football is his job. And if others don’t get kept from working after abuse (on people), what sense does that make? Let the man play. We can be mad, sure. We can let him apologize to PETA. But there’s a line that I’d like drawn that separates the man and the ball player.