Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Airporter

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We’ve been a lot lately. In the airport. Traveling. Picking up visitors. Getting rid of those visitors. A lot = over twenty times in the last few months and likely another twenty coming up.

I have to tell you what I like the least. It would be the TSA. I’m not sure that I’m allowed to say that in this medium without getting in trouble, so let’s pretend “TSA” stands for “Tacky-Sweatered-Accountants”…

One place there was a lady in a chair. She was pregnant. That much was obvious. But she felt the need to sit far away from the line and announce to everyone that she couldn’t BEND to lean in and check your things. You had to almost lean over the divider and into the podium thing she wasn’t using. “There’s a BABY in there,” she would announce, in case you thought she was just eating beach balls while she ‘worked’.

One place there were many workers. Maybe 12. In one spot. STANDING. I’ve never seen anyone not work so hard. Wait, that’s not true. I saw one lady READING AN US WEEKLY.

After that, I considered applying. I would totally read Us Weekly for a living. It makes me think of what my Dad would say. “Don’t work too hard,” he’d tell her, and she just wouldn’t get it.

I mentioned to my husband what an insane amount of these people we’ve seen, and he provided me with more fodder for annoyance: the 9/11 bad guys had proper IDs. So what do they solve? And, 6 months after the creation of the “Tacky-Sweatered-Accountants”, they gave out lifetime achievement awards. At expensive parties. The more I think of this, I really need to apply. What am I complaining about? I must just be jealous.

tsa

Wait, where’s his sweater?…

Jeo-PARTY

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Thursday night amidst my dinner company and after a rousing round of my favorite pre dinner event, playing Jeopardy, I remembered I wanted to try out. For Jeopardy! That’s right, a few nights ago I had noticed they were having their first round of trial online questions that might get you an interview that might get you a test that might get you 5 other steps of something, and then on TV! I had signed up and it was time.

With my audience suggesting answers cheering me on I crazily ran through 50 questions with 12 seconds each to type in an answer. It was nuts! And to be fair, I rocked it. I must have gotten, at least 5 questions correct. At least.

Ouch. So I might not get that callback. All my smack talking and typical excellence was corralled right there. It is harder than just sitting on the couch shouting out answers. It got me thinking Jeopardy might not be my retirement plan after all. I’m only any good at certain categories. SO I have a new idea.

I want to HOST Jeopardy.

I have to figure out what the requirements are, but I think it’s a safe bet that Trebek will be wrapping up his career in my lifetime, and I need to be waiting in the wings. I’ll preen myself for the takeover. Carey got Price is Right and now it’s my time. I might not look that great on TV, but I could totally do the voices and the accents. Come on. How hard can it be? Not as hard as being a contestant, I bet.

meopardy.jpg

Logical Or Wasteful?

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I see how these could be true, but why waste the good stuff?
15 Uses For Vodka (source)

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

absolut vodkas
www.absolutads.com

NANO TOTAL: 6775 words. Don’t ask.
NaBlo Day 10: Check.

Imitation Salsa

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While we were in Mazatlan, we ate chips and salsa on the hour. It was the most addicting salsa I’ve ever had. I would IV it if I could. I haven’t had any good Mexican cuisine in WA state, there probably isn’t any. I decided to make my own, after carefully creating an ingredient list. You might not be interested unless you’re coming over soon and like salsa, but it was pretty good. This is it (it’s prettier if you click the link and blow it up):

my-salsa.jpg

Authored By You

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Found this quote this morning, over at Doc Searls Weblog (yeah, it’s old) and thought it really resonates.

Informing is not the same as delivering information. Inform is derived from the verb to form. When you inform me, you form me. You enlarge that which makes me most human: what I know. I am, to some degree, authored by you.

rain puddle

www.thefusiongallery.com

Cans Of Art

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I’m still sleeping after a full, full day hiking Mt. Rainier, I’ll try to recover and tell you all about it… before I get even more into the swing of the 4th of July, which I get a full week of celebrating for, even though I totally disagree with MK and don’t think it really counts as one of those holidays you have to call family on and such. Good sentence.

In the meantime, how about some Cans of Soup, that are artsy?

Cans of Art

flickr can art
www.flickr.com

What About The Internet?

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The research began after a long, thought provoking weekend during which I attended Seattle’s Gay Pride Parade and began to rethink how I feel about a lot of things. I began to root around a little for explanations and theories about Christianity and homosexuality. And this is what I found:

God hates shrimp

I wonder what He thinks about the internet.

On the one hand, that is a fun little way to think about things, sort of. On the other, I think it’s painfully obvious people (including me) have too much time on their hands. Unfortunately it didn’t bring me any new realizations…

gay_pride_meets_1.jpg

?

Let’s Play “Is It Creepy?”

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There are not that many residential buildings near me. There are mostly offices in all directions, expect due south, where my windows all look. Last night (Mom’s not pleased I told my blog stalkers I was home alone!) I of course was enjoying my freedom dancing through the house in my underwear drinking and smoking and wearing face cream (only one of those is the truth…) and I could see out the window! My senses seemed more acute than ever, and well, I saw TV’s on and surely other things that my imagination has been running wild with all day long.

This leads to only one conclusion, of course, “Should I get a telescope and spy on these people even better?” I mean, if they’re leaving their windows all the way open they’re asking for it, right? In many non dirty ways, it just made me laugh. And think of Google Earth, what with the nose picking and other unassuming things I might be privy to. So, internet, is it creepy that I want to spy on people with a telescope? I’m sure it is, especially since telescopes are expensive, and I don’t like the thought of peering into a room with a dude with a telescope of his own, then hearing the phone ring…

I guess what I really want to do, and leave it at, would be the talk with the salesperson in the Sharper Image. “Which one of these can I see into that building over there with?”